I need more music. I never get tired of that feeling from hearing a song that absolutely shocks you with how hard it hits you. There's so much out there that I just don't want to stop inhaling new music, finding new artists.

And you were holding on to make a point
What's the point?

I am but a clean man, stable and alone man
Make it so I won't have to try
The faces always stay the same
So I'll face the fact that I'm just fine
I said that I'm just fine

The blood was dry, it was sober
The feeling of audible cracks
And I could tell it was over
From the curtains that hung from your neck

Can't focus can't focus can't focus can't focus...

shitfuck ughhhh.

Edit: Wrote 2000 words. Am still 2000 behind, but ehhh at least I'm kind of making headway.

You know what? I'm tired of making apologies.
I'm not sorry.
And there's no reason I should be.

Guys are stupid and I am very, very stupid. Gah.

Got a new phone, tried to change it to my old number, realized what I did was change my phone plan to my old broken phone. I can't change it online again since apparently you can do it only once per cycle and fucking koodo support is closed right now. If they tell me I have to wait a month to change it back, meanwhile having to pay for a month of services I'm not getting on my broken phone, I will flip epic shits.

I gotta wise up. I'm sick of feeling like a naive moron. I'm tired of being taken advantage of. I'm done with rolling over and letting people do what they will.

I will not be complacent.

( !@#*@!&*^&*Q@^#&@^Q!@&^#*#$!&*$( )

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you

FUCK YOU.

It's funny how I know you don't give a fuck about my opinion, and how I'll spend an agonizingly long time finding what words to say that could be taken as flirtation but justtt barely when you really likely don't notice a single damn thing I try so hard to balance.

WHY AM I SUCH A TOOL?

Goddamnit.

Dear self,
stop being such a self destructive mess.
kthxbye.

-

Finally saw my chem diploma results. I was deliriously, distractingly happy that day. And I tanked it. Absolutely tanked it. I really thought I nailed it, but guess that was just my mood. God, I need to get my shit together or I really will be caged here for the rest of my life.

So all I'm going to say is !#^!*$^&@*^(*#Q*(@Q@!))($@#*$&@*^%@%&#*!%^

What if I can't do this?

So, a cute spanish guy going through my till asked me out today. I said no, but was still pretty flattered haha.

And the hot ass shy boy cashier is talking now =).

Cashiering isn't half bad when the people you work with kind of rock =3.

...That is all.

( Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss )

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Five minutes after I say I'm overdue for some good stuff coming my way, I get to watch rock star boy do a gig streamed live online anddddddddd I find out I'm actually gonna get to see Manson tomorrow. I am in awe at the universe.

"Today I was driving by the lake and I saw a Jeep full of guys pass me. They were hanging out the windows and the sunroof, paddling with canoe paddles, and singing "Just Around the Riverbend" from Pocahontas. It easily may have been the coolest thing I've seen, ever."

-MLIA is frickin awesome and restores my faith in the existence of awesomeness in people.

Also, workin at Home Depot now. Have already blundered quite a bit and I'm only three days in. Three days in a row, all day. So tired. Nine more hours tomorrow and then 40 hours next week. Ughhhh. Being a grown up sucks, eff this shit xP.

Virgin fest yesterday was brilliant. Metric and Billy Talent rocked the crowd hard.

And one reason I love these things is because it introduces me to new, fantastic music. Like the Brit band White Lies. Who pretty much made me melt in my shoes. And who kindly endured my fangirling. Lead singer boy gives grand hugs <3



CD zip download =) I actually do plan on buying their album, though. It's rare that my level of love for an artist overcomes my broke ass hoboness, but here we are.

Crappily, Katie lost her camera in the pit so all the awesome photos of all the amazing adventures we've been on in the last few weeks are gone. Not to mention the fact that she just got that camera as a grad present. x(.

Huh. So apparently yesterday we met Tim Oxford and Mike DeAngelis, the drummer and guitarist/singer from the Canadian band Arkells. Who are big enough to be playing Virgin Fest and big enough so that my friend's little sister instantly recognized their name when we mentioned it to her. We thought they were just a local band. Turns out, after I googled them, that I have actually heard some of their songs.



Guess that explains why his friend laughed "Wow they had idea who you are" as we walked away.

...We only wandered over cos we thought they were good looking. Crazy world we live in.

Okay, I'm still ridiculously excited from last night. Last night I went to see a concert I've been unbelievably pumped for ever since they announced the pre-sale of. The All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy, and Blink-182, bitchesss.

( I need a Blink summer 2009 shirttttt )

Damn. Just googled stuff and found out their was an official after concert party hosted by Pete Wentz at a lounge downtown that was only $5 with ticket stubs... Seriously, Damn. Why do I never find out about these things ahead of time? GAH. Headdesk.

Also, dear mother, whipping out my dead brother's old resume is not motivating me to not fail life, thank you very much. If your goal however was to depress the shit out of me, ding ding ding well done. You could make a successful career out of ruining people's days. It's a coveted skill, I'm sure. You're thoroughly unpleasant, congrats.

"After reading every GMH on the site, I texted and emailed all my friends and relatives, telling them how much they mattered to me and that I loved every single one of them. Within an hour, everyone had replied back telling me that they loved me too. Even ones I haven't talked to in years. GMH"

Sometimes, people in general really do make me smile. I love that site.